Cookie Container

So all weekend we have been hearing how the weather is going to make it treacherous and nearly impossible for travel tomorrow in the DFW area. This is new to us North Texans. As my friend Micki says "You don't live through 100 degree summers only to experience 10 degree winters." Correctomuno, Micki! This is Texas! Not Kentucky! If we wanted to experience below freezing we would have moved to Montana, just sayin'.

So hear it is 11:18pm and it is pouring down rain. The dog has already gone out to do her business, thanks goodness, or else the little "Doesn't Do Rain Diva" would have reared her ugly head like the Exorcist and I would be going to bed cold, wet and frustrated. So tomorrow morning, Rick will get to deal with that, then 15 minutes later, I will deal with it, then 30 minutes later, it's my turn again... sigh.

So I was thinking of how Christy, Lisa and my mom find my blogs humorous (mom's kind of biased). So I thought I'd share a little story that I'm sure you can relate to.

At a party we had last year, Micki brought over a canister full of cookies. Not all of Micki's delicious cookies were eaten so Micki just leaves them with the container behind. But if anyone knows me, you don't leave your container at my house with the expectation that you will get it back. It's not that I want your silly container, it's that I forget about it. Sometimes I put it in the trunk of may car thinking I will just "drop it off" or hand it over when I see you. Well, that rarely if ever happens. And when it does, it's covered in dog hair or leaves. Well that's what you get for leaving it at my house.

So one day about two months after the party (I actually was pleased with myself that it only took two months and not the standard five or six), anyway, I was out running errands and I knew Micki would be home so I grabbed her container to take with me. I finished doing my errands, leaving her for last so as not to feel rushed considering it is an ordeal going over to her home. First, she has to lock up Millie, then Tucker, then she can actually open the front door, but not the glass storm door, at least not until she shoos Chester and Bowser away. If she didn't do that, two little rat terriers would be bopping up and down and yapping so loud we couldn't hear ourselves talk.

Anyway, so I am driving to her house the back way. The light is fading so I can't make out the name on the street sign but it is a four letter word like her street name and the street looks familiar so I take a turn and park in front of her home. I knock on the door, but no one answers. I wait, and I ring the bell and knock again. I know she should be home by now. But it's weird because I don't hear any little dogs snarling and growling at me through the doors. So I open the storm door and place the container between the doors.

A couple of days go by and she hasn't said anything about her container. So I ask "Did you find your container?" She replies "No? Where did you put it?" "I put it in front of your front door. Between the storm door and your front door." She goes to look, "Nope. Nothing there."

She then has the nerve to ask me if perhaps I placed it at the wrong house. What? Me wrong? Never...

It is through this discussion I realize, "Oh, yea, she doesn't have a driveway in front of her house like the one I dropped the canister off at. And yes wasn't it weird I didn't hear any little mongrel doggies."

Sigh...I'm a dork.

You know, this whole thing could have been avoided had I just actually taking two seconds to read the sign instead of faking it. Or better yet, when you drop something off at my house, do not leave the container, or pot, or utensil, or dish if you want it back. From here on out I shall make no promise nor guarantee that I will return your container, et al should you bring it into my house. Period. No warranty. No refund. And no Get Out of Jail Free card, either. Sorry. (See what I did there? Sorry has a dual meaning, as in the game Sorry and as in the apology, but I'm really not apologizing because I told you up front not to trust me with your cooking utensils, pottery, or other home wares.)

So a few nights later I decide to go over to the wrong house and get Micki's container back. She said she didn't want it back but by God, if I lose or break something of yours I will fix it or get a replacement because that's just who I am. Even if it's 25 cents. So anyway, I knock on the door, no one answers but I know someone is home because the garage door is wide open and a car is there. I ring the door bell, nothing. I knock again. I hear the door in the garage close, I run to the garage, nothing. I said "Hello!!" "Hello! I know you're home!" Nothing. I ran back to the front door and knocked several more times. Nothing.

They KNEW I was coming back for that container!! They didn't want to give it up! Asshats... I told Micki and she laughed. She said she knew them and would call them and ask for it back. (By the way, she never called them.)

So another month passes. I sheepishly and apologetically ask Micki if she got her container. She laughs (she always laughs at me when I'm being serious) and assures me she is fine without the container. Her life has not suddenly become unglued because she no longer has that ugly container. (Sorry, it was ugly.) So a few weeks later I surprise with a new and prettier container. And she laughed. :)

Yes, I am a dork. :)